I Think My Husband Is an Alcoholic: What Do I Do?

By Emma Williams

Recognizing alcoholism in a loved one – especially when it’s your own husband or partner – isn’t always easy. Self-destructive behaviors like alcoholism aren’t always apparent to the person in question until they get out of hand. So how do you know whether your husband is drinking too much? And what do you do if you think your husband is an alcoholic?

Alcoholism can affect different people in different ways, but one thing’s for sure: Alcoholism affects everyone, not just the alcoholic. If you’re concerned about your husband’s drinking, and especially if it’s starting to affect your own life or the lives of your children, it’s time to get serious.

First, you need to understand that the signs and symptoms of alcohol addiction go far beyond drunken behavior. In fact, they can impact every aspect of the alcoholic’s life – and your life.

Know the Signs

If you answer true to any of the following questions, it’s time to consider outside support to help address your husband’s drinking and its impact on your family:

____ I constantly worry about how much my husband drinks

____My husband’s drinking is putting financial stress and/or strain on our relationship

____I frequently make excuses for my husband’s drinking

____I frequently cancel, reschedule, or avoid social engagements with my husband because of his drinking

____My husband only abuses alcohol because of his friends or social pressures

____I am always trying to watch my husband’s drinking: I look for hidden alcohol, try to smell his breath, and monitor the amount of alcohol in our house

____I have been embarrassed in front of my family, friends, or in public as a result of my husband’s drinking

____My husband’s drinking has interfered with holidays, parties, or other special social occasions

____My own safety and/or the safety of my children or other family members has been jeopardized because of my husband’s alcohol abuse

____My own mood, self-esteem, and ability to lead a productive life are inhibited by my husband’s drinking

When to Get Help

As soon as you recognize the signs of alcohol abuse, it’s time to get help. Alcoholism is a disease and as with any disease, the longer it is left untreated, the worse it can become. And when alcohol abuse is left untreated, its consequences can have far-reaching effects.

As much as you love your husband, you alone cannot help him overcome his alcohol addiction. And as much as you might want to, you cannot force him to get the help he needs. So what can you do?

Express your concern. Without being confrontational or argumentative, let your husband know that his drinking has become cause for concern, and that you are worried about his alcohol abuse. Make sure he knows that you are not blaming him, you are simply expressing love and concern.
Suggest getting help. You might not be able to force your husband to get treatment for alcohol abuse, but you can suggest he consider getting the professional psychological and medical support he may need.
Find a support network. Local treatment centers, clinics, and support groups offer the best starting points and can provide you with information and materials to help you get your husband the help he needs.
Talk directly with a professional. Even if your husband isn’t ready to seek treatment, you can begin the process by reaching out to a professional in your area to learn how to effectively intervene and help your husband begin the recovery process.
Remember you’re not alone. Wives, partners, and family members of alcoholics are always affected by the disease. Local outpatient and inpatient treatment facilities can provide you with valuable personal support as well as support for your husband.

When It’s Time to Intervene

If you think your husband’s alcohol abuse has gone too far and he needs more immediate help, it may be time to intervene. If your husband has not responded to your expressions of concern about his drinking, and he has not begun to seek the treatment you believe he needs, you may decide it’s time to step in and take charge. While staging an intervention can be a highly emotional experience for all involved, it can sometimes be the very best option for ensuring your husband’s long-term health, safety, and happiness.

If you decide an intervention is necessary in order to help your husband deal with his alcohol abuse, make sure you turn to the right resources. Local treatment facilities, including both inpatient and outpatient facilities, can provide resources, trained counselors, and other professionals ready to help you get your husband on the road to recovery.

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I Think My Husband Is an Alcoholic: What Do I Do?